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The False Fence

Throughout our time in that community, I imagined many of the people in our church would be in our lives forever. I pictured attending our children’s weddings together. Specifically, to celebrate marriages to each other, if we were lucky. I wanted to make my church family, my children’s in-laws. We did lake weekends together. We cried on each other's kitchen floors. Ate at each other's dining room tables. We did life together. And not in the cliche ways church usually means. Like, we did all of life together. We went to the gym together. Our children mostly went to the same schools together. Until we all pulled them out of public schools and homeschooled them.

Membership to our church was not taken lightly. It was a covenant relationship.

covenant. (noun)-

an agreement. A promise. Usually with God or God’s people. 

In a life where I felt like I was constantly being left, I loved the security I felt in such a deep and intense relationship. A covenant. I felt like my membership to the church and its people was equivalent to a marriage. It came with commitment. A commitment to give, sacrificially. This meant our time, talent, and treasures. A commitment to corporate worship. And a commitment to being in a small group, Gospel Communities. A commitment that I would never leave. A commitment that I would never be left. I was fenced in by a good shepherd. I was safe. I was seen.

Until I wasn’t.
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