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How to Mend a Broken Heart

I am emotionally and physically drained.  It stands to reason as my body's attempt to bring us child number two ended in miscarriage.  I am doing well and am at peace with this loss that occurs frequently in the whole baby making process.  Despite my best attempts to talk myself out of the emotions, I still find myself feeling that sense of loss.  But again, rationally, I understand these things happen.  And often.  And probably for a good reason.

But we move forward.  Regrettably, Ian has been so busy at work we haven't had time to really process together.  And then my mom has been in Texas attending to my grandfather who is also having some health issues.  I miss my mommy and I want my grandpa to be better!!!  So my broken heart, is being healed by this face here:





Haley had been fighting the worse cold and respiratory problems; therefor, she has been in a funk for awhile.  But suddenly--my healthy, happy Haley returned.  So we have been spending some lazy days together.  Cuddling on the sofa.  Sharing laughs.

Don't get me wrong.  Raising a toddler has it's DAILY challenges.  But part of parenting is dealing with those challenges in a way that they will grow to HOPEFULLY be good people.  Our current battle is to get her to learn that screaming and fit throwing does not get her what she wants.  Things have gotten loud around here, as most of the time I wait patiently for her to use her words and to ask nicely.  That backfired a little bit with the pacifier.  She has been asking very nicely for that, but still won't get it.  I guess the lesson is, even when you ask nicely--you STILL don't always get what you want.  

It is in our joys and struggles over the past few days that I have found healing.  I am exhausted physically.  I am assuming the massive hormone change has something to do with it.  I guess when you get pregnant it is a gradual change, and then with this-it is like BAM--hello, not pregnant and your body is going crazy to try to get the thing out.  

But it is what it is and you move forward.  I am looking forward to returning to normal.  I miss exercise, but I will need to ease back in a feel.  My body feels achey and tired all the time.  I don't think I couldn't run a mile if my life depended on it.  I think I will start back with cycle and some yoga.  I think I will feel much better when I am back to my old self .  I could definitely use a night out soon, for sure.  

Comments

Cori said…
I'm really sorry. :(
1/04/2013 7:13 PM
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