I feel bad for first born children.
I think it is pretty much the status quo across the board. First time parents are kind of clueless. No matter how much time parents have spent with babies, nothing prepares them for a child of their own. Nothing.
So naturally, a lot ofmistakes are made learning opportunities are to be had. By the time the second child comes around, parents are old pros (or so I hear).
When I first had Haley I had a nasty habit of not putting her down for like the first week. In fact, I am pretty sure she was attached to her "bottle" for a week straight ( I was nursing if you catch my drift). After nearly loosing my mind, I went to the other extreme. They say you can't spoil newborns, but they do get use to your closeness and warmth for napping and such--so it probably is a good idea to let them get use to sleeping solo a bit. I never rocked her to sleep and always laid her down for the night when she was still awake so she could learn to drift off without my comfort. Within 6-12 weeks, I had a baby that was basically sleeping 8-12 hours a night. No pacing the floors. No rocking her to sleep. I would feed her, throw her in the crib and peace out.
It seemed great at the time. But now my baby is a toddler. When did this happen? The moments she will sit still long enough to be cuddled are few and far between. I feel like I robbed both our souls a little closeness. Nights of being rocked to sleep, being hummed to while drifting off to baby dreamland.
She's independent. I am not sure if that is nature or nurture--but she is a great sleeper and doesn't need or even want my cuddles when it comes to nighttime. (She is going through a kissing stage where she will come give us kisses during playtime... which helps momma's broken heart a bit)
Right around her 1st birthday, I started trying to force the cuddling. I guess I realized that I had missed out on all that. That someday I was going to wake up to a 16-year-old teenager. That, my baby, wasn't always going to be a baby. I should have held her more. Should have rocked her more. Should have let her sleep in my arms. Should have lived in the moment. And now, my window of opportunity is gone.
It was heartbreaking.
Tonight, I laid her to bed. And she was struggling to fall asleep which is so unlike her. I got her up and put her in her stroller to go check the mail, hoping the movement would help. Came back in and laid her down. She was asleep for a little bit, but awoke fussing some more. Once again, totally unlike her. 99% of the time, I lay her down and she is out for the next 10-12 hours without a peep. I can even vacuum and clean without her so much as stir.
.......And this is whereI slipped as a parent (today), but I don't even care.
Haley has been off the bottle for awhile now. But I made her a bottle anyway. Even warmed it up like I use to. I picked her up, help her in my arms, and rocked her.
After finishing the bottle I laid her on my chest and she laid her head down and cooed while I rocked us both.
My soul needed that. And I am guessing hers did to. It was so out of character for her to lay like that. She still wouldn't drift to sleep like that, but she just laid there with her head on my chest....cooing. I would talk back and she would coo. Like a conversation. She would even pick up her head, look me dead in the eyes and smile, before laying her head back down.
I ruined it by trying to snap a picture of the moment. As soon as she saw my phone, she wanted to take it and play. So I then decided to lay her down for the night. I haven't heard a peep since.
*sigh*
It was so worth it.
I think it is pretty much the status quo across the board. First time parents are kind of clueless. No matter how much time parents have spent with babies, nothing prepares them for a child of their own. Nothing.
So naturally, a lot of
When I first had Haley I had a nasty habit of not putting her down for like the first week. In fact, I am pretty sure she was attached to her "bottle" for a week straight ( I was nursing if you catch my drift). After nearly loosing my mind, I went to the other extreme. They say you can't spoil newborns, but they do get use to your closeness and warmth for napping and such--so it probably is a good idea to let them get use to sleeping solo a bit. I never rocked her to sleep and always laid her down for the night when she was still awake so she could learn to drift off without my comfort. Within 6-12 weeks, I had a baby that was basically sleeping 8-12 hours a night. No pacing the floors. No rocking her to sleep. I would feed her, throw her in the crib and peace out.
It seemed great at the time. But now my baby is a toddler. When did this happen? The moments she will sit still long enough to be cuddled are few and far between. I feel like I robbed both our souls a little closeness. Nights of being rocked to sleep, being hummed to while drifting off to baby dreamland.
She's independent. I am not sure if that is nature or nurture--but she is a great sleeper and doesn't need or even want my cuddles when it comes to nighttime. (She is going through a kissing stage where she will come give us kisses during playtime... which helps momma's broken heart a bit)
Right around her 1st birthday, I started trying to force the cuddling. I guess I realized that I had missed out on all that. That someday I was going to wake up to a 16-year-old teenager. That, my baby, wasn't always going to be a baby. I should have held her more. Should have rocked her more. Should have let her sleep in my arms. Should have lived in the moment. And now, my window of opportunity is gone.
It was heartbreaking.
Tonight, I laid her to bed. And she was struggling to fall asleep which is so unlike her. I got her up and put her in her stroller to go check the mail, hoping the movement would help. Came back in and laid her down. She was asleep for a little bit, but awoke fussing some more. Once again, totally unlike her. 99% of the time, I lay her down and she is out for the next 10-12 hours without a peep. I can even vacuum and clean without her so much as stir.
.......And this is whereI slipped as a parent (today), but I don't even care.
Haley has been off the bottle for awhile now. But I made her a bottle anyway. Even warmed it up like I use to. I picked her up, help her in my arms, and rocked her.
After finishing the bottle I laid her on my chest and she laid her head down and cooed while I rocked us both.
My soul needed that. And I am guessing hers did to. It was so out of character for her to lay like that. She still wouldn't drift to sleep like that, but she just laid there with her head on my chest....cooing. I would talk back and she would coo. Like a conversation. She would even pick up her head, look me dead in the eyes and smile, before laying her head back down.
I ruined it by trying to snap a picture of the moment. As soon as she saw my phone, she wanted to take it and play. So I then decided to lay her down for the night. I haven't heard a peep since.
*sigh*
It was so worth it.
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