Ah. Hello and welcome.
Where to begin. I have been thinking this all through in my head-trying to figure out the words to articulate the mess going on in my head. But somehow, just writing and not looking back tends to cure a case of writers block.
I've been reading the Happiness Project. I am in a love/hate relationship with this book. Why are all the brilliant people that I admire and aspire to be like tend to be non-Christians? It is as if they have all the right answers but one. I sense the void. That search for better understanding of this crazy universe of ours-but missing the mark.
It is like brilliance, common sense, a realistic view on life, and Christianity don't exist in one person.
The author of the Happiness Project is who I am referring to. She basically spells it out in one chapter that she isn't a Christian. It made my heart ache because she really seems like she has life figured out, but is going on this whole big search for happiness. I have to wonder, maybe the thing she was searching for all along was something to be found in the New Testament? But I don't know her heart, and without having personal access to her, there isn't much I can do about that.
But man. The book was a slap across the head. In case you have been living under a rock somewhere, I am 23 (I think, 23 or 24...20-something). I still have A LOT of growing to do. Sadly the 19 year-old inside me apparently thought I had life perfected. Not so much.
I have limitations.
I connected with the author in a very real way. I suppose that is what makes a good author; one whom jumps right off the page and dwells within you. Connecting with your inner most thoughts. Knowing you in a way others may never understand. A good author is a perfect stranger that has the ability to stay in your head long after you put down the book.
I had to actually get out a pen and paper and write down some of the stuff she wrote because it touched me so deeply. One, less personal, thing that really spoke to me was the following:
"Don't let the enemy of good be perfection."
Throughout the entire book, I kept getting that--maybe I can finally perfect life feeling. Truth is, that very goal in itself is setting myself up for failure. I am far from perfect, but for some reason, I continue to aspire to be. The biggest enemy of my good, is indeed perfection.
Moving forward, the book was good. I learned a lot about myself and am ready to take on some personal growth. I'm ready to live better. Be a better wife. Be a better mom. Be a better Christian. Be a better daughter, sibling, friend, citizen. Not perfect. Just better.
I debated if this was even a project I should take on. But then I realized, of course I am not finished growing. I am 23 (I am almost certain, I should probably do the math). But I don't want to call my project a happiness project. This project isn't about my happiness, it is about making the most out of life and not sucking as a person.
Step one, I decided to create some general life rules for myself--you know in addition to those 10 Commandments found in the Old Testament.
1. Be Breanna--never waiver from my morals, values, and ideas to please someone else
2. Be in the moment
3. Send Praise
4. Cut people some slack
5. Be polite
6. Let it go
7. Stop over thinking
8. Pray instead of complain
9. Error on the side of caution
10. Ian & Haley family first
I put a great deal of thought into these. Which seems to already violate rules number 7 ( I say that jokingly because that isn't the kind of over thinking I'm talking about). I am not taking these lightly. I think these are all very solid points that are important to me that I definitely need to grow towards.
I think I am going to sit on these for awhile before I move on to the next step....
Comments