Sometimes too much information is a bad thing. Thanks to the internet, I know way more about pregnancy than any pregnant woman ought to. And now I wish I didn't. I wish I could take a doctor 'at his word' and take things at face value and ignorantly go on in a blissful pregnant state of being.
Let me rewind. Running two blogs gets me a little messed up sometimes. If this is the first you have heard of my pregnancy, you might want to start here: Pregnancy: Take 2
Alright, so here is where we are at today. There are many different ways you can guess how far a long you are. The most common being based on your cycle. According to my cycle I am 9 weeks. Right of the bat, I can say--no way is that possible. I know, almost for a fact that I ovulated late. I didn't get a positive pregnancy test until 8 or 9 days after my missed period. And it was REALLY faint. So that puts me at most, maybe 8 weeks, but I was guessing more like 7.5 weeks. 7.5 weeks being at the very least.
So today, we went in for a check-up. We opted for the transabdominal ultrasound (on the belly) and was able to find the heart beat right away. We could even hear it on the machine. He estimated the heart rate to be about 158.
And then I waited. For the big moment of truth. My due date. I wanted to know how far along I am. But then he feeds me this line about how he isn't good at measuring on the machines and he would prefer the ultrasound Sally to do it sometime next week. Then the nurse asked, "So what do you want me to put in here?"
He responded with, 6 weeks--and then he mumbled something about the yolk sac. My heart dropped in my throat, because he had just confirmed what I was thinking in the back of my head.
I know ultrasounds. I have done research. There is a big difference between and ultrasound at 6 weeks and an ultrasound at 7.5 weeks or even 7 weeks. If I was 6 weeks pregnant, I would have conceived on the same day I got a positive pregnancy test. I am not good at math, but I know that doesn't work. At the VERY earliest I should be 7 weeks 3 days....and that is assuming my pregnancy test picked up on the pregnancy hormones the very earliest pregnancy tests do that.
So it looks like I am measuring small. But I keep reminding myself that the heart rate is good. But of course, if I Google anything about it, it comes up with a million and two people who posted about their experiences with having a heart beat, measuring behind, to return in two weeks to find a non-heart beating embryo.
So what am I other than neurotic and stressed. Cautiously optimistic. There was a little beating heart. I saw it. I heard it. And it was GOOD. A strong heart. There are so many factors I know and understand. The fact that it was on the belly could make the image not as clear--so perhaps we are not seeing everything that is going on in there. Maybe my little bean is a slow grower and will catch up. With that strong beating heart I know he or she can. So I am being optimistic. But the outcome today was not as ideal as I had hoped. It isn't ideal, but it isn't grim.
I have another appointment Monday, with sonographer Sally. She is going to measure me and tell me how far along I am +/- 5 days. That is 4 days from now. I am hoping it will get big and beautiful by then and measure a little closer to something that seems more hopeful.
This is a picture of the ultrasound. You can clearly see the yolk sac, but you can't see anything from the embryo. BUT we know the embryo is there because we saw and heard the heartbeat.
This is my ultrasound with Haley @ 6 weeks. She measured spot on the entire pregnancy. MAYBE just 2 or 3 days off. I can't remember if we heard a heart beat on this one. I want to say we did, but I can't be positive. As you can see, they look similar, but the one above it is a lot bigger. So I am hoping that means I was measuring closer to a solid 7+ and he was just being conservative by saying 6 weeks.
The doctor is so kind and patient with me. He asked, Do you feel better now that you have seen the heart beat? I lied and said yes. I told myself no more stress, if I heard a heart beat. I heard it.
I stressed throughout my entire pregnancy last time. I just want to relax and enjoy it for once. I don't like the idea that I am turning into a pessimist. At least with my miscarriage, I had a lot of signs pointing to not being viable--so it was me being realistic. This one, all the signs are pointing to good, expect for the timing. So I am just going to relax. There is nothing I can do either way. I am still okay'd for exercise. Just keeping it low-impact, which I have been. I have no been okay'd to gain a million pounds, and I keep on trying to remember that. I know eating is not a good thing to try to control, but it is the ONE thing I have control of as far as this pregnancy goes, so I am going to try to do it better. I can be a bit of an emotional eater when I am stressed, so I need to get that under control.
I have to continue to Progesterone until about 12 to 14 weeks. It is one of those things, once you start, it is best not to stop until you reach your second trimester I was bummed by that. But it is what it is.
Ian threatened to disconnect our router so I can't Google anything. So I wanted to post before I got grounded. He is so good about being supportive. He listens and he understands, and he says all the right things. He gets me like that.
Here's to the waiting game! I wonder if I can get okay'd to drink a glass of wine?? Just kidding.
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