Skip to main content

Snap Outa It

I need to focus.

My brain is in a million different places all at one time.  And time is slipping away from me.

The other day, Haley looked at me.  Plain as day and asked while looking around the room

"Where Dad go?"

..............................................................................................................................

I was stunned how clear she was.  It is weird.  She will go days just babbling or screaming at me, and then pop out a sentence just clear as day.

My point, my baby isn't a baby anymore.  She is a toddler.  It has its ups and downs, but I have to admit that sometimes I emotionally check out because I am overwhelmed with needing to do this, or thinking about that.  So this is my reminder to start reading to Haley daily again.  To sit down, look her in the eyes when I talk and play with her.  And soak every moment in because I can't ever get these moments back.

This is my reminder that Haley doesn't care if the floors are cleaned daily or if the counter tops have finger prints.  All Haley wants is her mother's love and attention, and she deserves more of it.  I promise I haven't been neglectful, but I have been...overly occupied with the hustle and bustle of needing to get things done that I really need to re-prioritize my life.

This evening we read the "Busy Little Spider",  I know she doesn't get the irony yet, but it sure entertained me.  And then I read her the first page in her children's Bible.  Meanwhile, I left my phone in the other room and let it go to voice mail.  I can always call a person back, but I can't re-do missed moments.  I can't get back this time.

I don't want Haley to wonder "Where Mom go?"--when we are in the same room.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fruit & Root Connection: Tangled Up

Certainly, I've expressed my aversion to hyper-spiritualized language before. It often feels contrived, lacking authenticity—a facade of piety. Perhaps it's projection. Maybe jealousy. Or it could stem from a sense of disillusionment with the Christian community. But every so often, amidst the noise, a truth resonates deeply. "There is a root and fruit connection between heart and behavior. People and situations do not determine our behavior; these things provide an occasion where our behavior reveals our hearts." - Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands I've been navigating through my anger, confronting myself in the mirror. What does this anger unveil about my own heart? Surely, they aren't as enraged with me. In fact, they probably don't spare me a second thought. If anything, they—as sincerely as they can muster—bemoan my status as an apostate. So pitiful. My fruit is anger. And too often, I'm tempted to point fingers elsewhere as the source of my...
Post a Comment
You Know You Want to Know More....>>

If Your Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands....

Alright y'all, I need to post an actual blog post.  It's been awhile.I guess I have said " writers block".  Everytime I've sat down to blog, I've gotten this nasty attitude, like I just want to rant and complain.  I'm not a fan of giving a bad mood more than it deserves or letting people get on my nerves enough that it bleeds in my blog in the most passive-aggressive way possible.  So I won't go there this time.  Focusing on what I'm thankful for has been such a great practice, and has helped me avoid the above.  So here goes nothing.....I'll update a little bit on everthing I suppose.... Finally, life is beginning to slow down.I am so appreciative of the fact that the moving/settling in process is over ( only to do it all again in T minus 5 months....) In theory, there should be a big hole where our next house will be soon. For some reason I doubt that they will break ground this week, but I would be happy if they did...I'm stressed and ...
Post a Comment
You Know You Want to Know More....>>

Never Say When

At some point in my journey, I forgot that church leaders are flawed humans too. I have a tendency to overly respect authority for the sake of their position. I assumed, being a pastor meant that there is some how a higher spiritual connection. Consequently, I would turn off my own discernment in favor for whatever I was being instructed to do by our church leader. The person I have grown to distrust the most and the person I betrayed the most was myself.  Examples: Early in our journey, we had a small group. For the most part, I LOVED small group nights. Until we had a change of seasons. I had just had my third baby. We were living in a rental property while renovating another home ourselves. I was working on leading our developing children's ministry and feeling over my head. Ian worked afternoons so either small group would take one of only two family nights or would be when he was working, leaving me to attend alone most of the time. Our small group had roughly 10-15 small chil...
Post a Comment
You Know You Want to Know More....>>