Skip to main content

Building a Nest on a Fan Blade

We sat around the kitchen table for hours, as we do on most major holidays. Laughing with overstuffed bellies. Out on the deck, a pile of bird nesting material falls to the ground. Looking up, we see where a mamma bird was attempting to build a nest on the upper side of the fan blade.

She would bring nesting material, lay it on the fan, do a bit of a nesting dance--then fly off to gather more material.  Before she returned, the material would blow off, falling to the ground in defeat. Again, she would attempt her nest, do a nesting dance, and fly off again.

Amidst our 8 hours of visiting, this bird continued this pattern throughout the entire day.  Never making progress. 

I couldn't help but laugh, but also feel grief for the mama bird.  We attempted to redirect her efforts to an empty cool wipe container, with no success.  

It got me thinking how often we come back to the same things over and over and over again.  Not making progress. How often do we come back to baseline.  Same old habits. Same old sins. Building our lives on a foundation of sand. 

Recently, I was struggling through some stuff with Ian. He is not one I come to for comfort. He will not say things to 'make me feel better'.  He speaks the truth. Mama bird, why do you keep toiling at this same task to which is obviously not working. Why do you keep coming back.

The problem is, wherever I go. Whatever I do.  I am there. I can convince myself, this time will be different. This time I am different.  But ultimately, I am attempting to build that same foolish nest. I don't have answers.  I don't have a plan of the nest 17 steps I am going to take to fix this. But I do see it.  I see the toil.  I see that I am attempting to build a nest on a fan blade. I see that, it is time to stop. 

The words of the Preacher,[a] the son of David, king in Jerusalem.

Vanity[b] of vanities, says the Preacher,
    vanity of vanities! All is vanity.
What does man gain by all the toil
    at which he toils under the sun?
A generation goes, and a generation comes,
    but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
    and hastens[c] to the place where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
    and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
    and on its circuits the wind returns.
All streams run to the sea,
    but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
    there they flow again.
All things are full of weariness;
    a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
    nor the ear filled with hearing.
What has been is what will be,
    and what has been done is what will be done,
    and there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there a thing of which it is said,
    “See, this is new”?
It has been already
    in the ages before us.
11 There is no remembrance of former things,[d]
    nor will there be any remembrance
of later things[e] yet to be
    among those who come after.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fruit & Root Connection: Tangled Up

Certainly, I've expressed my aversion to hyper-spiritualized language before. It often feels contrived, lacking authenticity—a facade of piety. Perhaps it's projection. Maybe jealousy. Or it could stem from a sense of disillusionment with the Christian community. But every so often, amidst the noise, a truth resonates deeply. "There is a root and fruit connection between heart and behavior. People and situations do not determine our behavior; these things provide an occasion where our behavior reveals our hearts." - Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands I've been navigating through my anger, confronting myself in the mirror. What does this anger unveil about my own heart? Surely, they aren't as enraged with me. In fact, they probably don't spare me a second thought. If anything, they—as sincerely as they can muster—bemoan my status as an apostate. So pitiful. My fruit is anger. And too often, I'm tempted to point fingers elsewhere as the source of my...

Should I Stay or Should I Go

At the time, deciding to leave felt like the most agonizing part of the whole ordeal. In hindsight, a few years of prayer journals were filled with distressing agony over desiring direction and reconciliation.  So much turmoil and emotional pain all the time. But we were constantly told that was to be expected. Hard was good. Hard truths. And iron sharpening iron. But in reality, We were all enduring death by a thousand paper-cuts. In reality, it was spiritual abuse.  In July of 2022, I sat in a lawn chair in California. It felt like a million miles from home.  We had been traveling the US, and hadn’t been home in weeks. I sat there, eating my bowl of chili.  As wonderful as the trip has been, I started to miss home. In my reflections. I counted my blessings. Home was good. Except one thing, I had a sense of dread when I thought about church. My chest would go tight. And my body felt shaky. I craved Jesus. I craved worship. I craved devotion. Being in God’s creation,...

If Your Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands....

Alright y'all, I need to post an actual blog post.  It's been awhile.I guess I have said " writers block".  Everytime I've sat down to blog, I've gotten this nasty attitude, like I just want to rant and complain.  I'm not a fan of giving a bad mood more than it deserves or letting people get on my nerves enough that it bleeds in my blog in the most passive-aggressive way possible.  So I won't go there this time.  Focusing on what I'm thankful for has been such a great practice, and has helped me avoid the above.  So here goes nothing.....I'll update a little bit on everthing I suppose.... Finally, life is beginning to slow down.I am so appreciative of the fact that the moving/settling in process is over ( only to do it all again in T minus 5 months....) In theory, there should be a big hole where our next house will be soon. For some reason I doubt that they will break ground this week, but I would be happy if they did...I'm stressed and ...