Family Living: Abbott Style

I am pregnant.  11 weeks pregnant to be exact. The number one question that I get-- Wow, was this planned? I can't say I blame them for asking the question.  Our family of four appeared to be very settled.  We had hit our stride,  Haley started Kindergarten.  The days of infanthood and toddlerhood were but fading memories. But I felt an undeniable desire for one more kid.  I tried hard to talk myself out of it,  It felt like starting over.  I told Ian I could certainly imagine having three adult children.  Three teenagers.  But volunteering for another pregnancy.  Volunteering for a newborn,  Seemed just short of insanity.    And then there was the IUD incident.  One an August morning, I felt an odd sensation and quickly realized my IUD was attempting and unscheduled evacuation.   An emergency visit to the OB confirmed that, in fact, my IUD had one leg out the door (literally).  ...

I cannot even begin to explain the joy this boy has brought into our lives.  He is full of laughter, playfulness, tenderness, and love.   A few highlights: Owen is mostly potty-trained! He recently moved to his big boy bed. He loves all things boy.  But doesn't hesitate to dive in with his big sister in whatever she can imagine up. Loves his dad.   He was cake.  Like seriously.  Birth thru 2.5 with him was so easy.  He is growing into toddler-hood.  I have begun to see a few tantrums here and there.   Terrible threes perhaps.   He is a descent eater.  I would say fairly typical toddler pickiness.  Loves Paw Patrol He enjoys the lake! 

This morning, Haley put on a new leopard print shirt.  A new khaki colored skort, A new pair of socks.  And a new pair of sneakers. She went to a new environment.  With new faces.  Pulled out new crayons our of a new pencil box.  Took her sack lunch in a new lunch box.  New routine,  New rules.  New faces, New...life. Everything is new. Including my role as a mother. Last night I had a nightmare.  It was like I was living the movie 'Taken' and Haley was in the starring role as the abducted girl. If you are wondering how I am handling, I thnk that summarizes it.  My anxiety is hijacking my dreams and spiraling into obscure levels.  Haley is coming home to a surprise of MORE new school clothes and a pizza-making-party.  I am trying to make the best of it.  My emotions are wild right now.  I remember loving school.  So the amount of sadness I am feeling today is selfish. ...

Tomorrow is the first day of a long journey.  With Haley, I was always excited for the next big milestone. First smile. First time rolling over. First time crawling. First steps. First words. In many ways, she has taught me more about life than I have taught her. And tomorrow, I hand her over to the world. I will still have a hand in her development--but her education and much of her social  interaction is in the hands of her tiny little community. Tonight, when I bow my head, I will pray hard for the years to come. And that God will continue to look over her and guide the hands molding her mild. As we close this chapter of our life, we begin another. This milestone, I approach with anxiety, hesitation, and tears. I am excited for her--she is going to LOVE kindergarten. Without a doubt, I know there will not be a tear shed on her part. She will walk through that door of her classroom, with not so much of a glance back. If anything, a reassuring smile to mom. To let me know-...

Haley is now 5.  And our life is about to forever change as she enters the "school age years". Newborn, toddler, pre-schooler, no more---school age child. How could I possibly summarize the last year in a few moments.--This last year went by fast.  And as far as Haley is concerned, one of my favorite years.  She is smart and funny.  Full of energy. She makes me proud. She is a great big sister.  She and Owen play well together. They have their moments, but when it comes down to it--Owen is one of her best buds. Here are a few highlights about Haley at this milestone: She loves mac and cheese--it was her dinner of choice this evening She makes up her own song lyrics, and it is pretty hilarious. She has started telling jokes.  Some are funny.  Most are not. She loves her daddy, but also loves doing girlie things with mom. She LOVES clothes.  And shoes....and fighting about clothes and shoes. She hates having her hair brushed.  Sh...

Dear Dad, First things first, I love you.  I miss you.  And I am sorry. I wish I had told you that sooner.  It still haunts me.  For too long, I wanted to hate you.  I wanted to hate you for hurting mom.  I wanted to hate you for leaving.  I wanted to hate you for coming and going.  I wanted to hate you for being so damn selfish. But I didn't.  I only hated how much I loved spending time with you.  I didn't want to want you.  I didn't want to miss you.  For me.  For mom.  It was like loving you meant I wasn't grateful for my life.   So at times, I pushed you away.  I am sorry. Wasted time. God made something beautiful out of the broken.  Mom did so good.  You knew John was a good man  And in some ways, it was good not having to come and go--being a visitor everywhere and home to nowhere.  That is no life for a kid.  We had stability.  We had love. Th...