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But My Day Was Hard Too...

Tired, frustrated, under slept, under groomed...and two kids are making it their goal to tear down the home.  The home I worked so hard to clean, after they were tucked in bed last night---again.

I look down and see elastic around my ankles.  ELASTIC. I vowed not to wear sweats--as like...an attire.  I judged...JUDGED mothers for wearing Yoga pants.  Even after Haley.  But here I sit.  Two kids, a messy house, under groomed---in elastic sweats.  In fact, I am not exactly sure the last time I wore pants that required a button.  And in these pants, I am not sure I could even get a prisoner to lust after me.

I actually loath myself.

I hurry through the day.  Holding my pee longer than what is healthy for the bladder. I've re-heated my coffee for the 3rd time.  THIRD time.  I am not even human until I can consume coffee.

And even after my come to Jesus revelation just two days ago--I am thinking about my holey cup, leaking---drip, drip, drip.

I had plans to run 6 or 7 miles today.  And I watch the clock realizing this just isn't going to happen.  After-all, I am still holding my pee.  Making it to the gym today would require a second coming of Jesus--and my being left behind.

Have you ever been so tired your face feels heavy?

And in all this, the resentment boils up.  Because I am hear alone.  It is all on me.  And I am wearing elastic ankle pants and having to pee.

And like an out of body experience, I step back from myself.  Standing there in the kitchen.  Tense and frustrated, with anger boiling up in all the wrong places.  And sorrow washes over me, as I realize just how unfair I am being.

My poor husband.  After a 12 hour shift yesterday, a few hours of sleep--he returned to work.  None of this by choice, but by circumstance.  And never without a complaint.  He never complains about the lack of sleep.  Never complains about not getting to enjoy his hobbies.  Never even complains about his wife in the elastic ankle pants--after all, under those elastic ankle pants is a rear end that regularly enjoys long runs----that I am not able to go on at the moment...I digress.

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