Skip to main content

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Walking into the church classroom to pick up my little one, I watched her "surf" across the room on a carpet sample that made the perfect sized magic carpet.  This was most certainly not the activity the group leader had in mind while trying to sing "Jesus Loves Me" to a room full of 2-year-olds.

Quickly, I realized my child had hit a new level of hyperactivity that I had yet to witness.  I immediately felt my energy drain out through my toes.  I eventually broke down and had to bust out my "mom voice" right there in front of everyone.  Haley came to me running with her imaginary tale between her legs.  "Mom Voice" 1, Haley 0.

It was home for a bath and bedtime.  After tucking Haley into her bed, I realized I was so drained I didn't want to get up off her bed.  So I laid there with her for what ended up being the better part of an hour.  I got so lost in our "conversations" that I hadn't realized how much time had elapsed.

I don't think she minded.  I couldn't get much of a word in edgewise.

But you forget how they grow up so fast.  And it is in the true moments of "down time" that you really see how much they really have developed.  She sang to me the songs she had been learning at church.  At times, on repeat.  She asked me to "talk to God" so we prayed aloud together.  After our nightly prayer, I decided it was a good night to demonstrate how to pray to God outside of the pre-written lines of a children's prayer.  She seemed to enjoy that.  She sweetly reminded me several times that 'Jesus loves you."  She told me about the frog on her ceiling and the monsters in her closet.  She told me about her pink bear, momma bear, and big brown dog that she crowds the best with each night.  And the conversations went on.....and on.....until I decided to call it a night and retire to my room].  She protested when I left her room, and it secretly made my heart feel good.  She enjoyed our chat as much as I did.   I don't think she wanted to ruin a good thing, because she quickly snapped out of it and wished me sweet dreams and told me she would see me in the morning.

All of the exhaustion.  All of the frustration from the day.  Melted away.  Erased from my memory, and replaced with our sweet night time conversation.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fruit & Root Connection: Tangled Up

Certainly, I've expressed my aversion to hyper-spiritualized language before. It often feels contrived, lacking authenticity—a facade of piety. Perhaps it's projection. Maybe jealousy. Or it could stem from a sense of disillusionment with the Christian community. But every so often, amidst the noise, a truth resonates deeply. "There is a root and fruit connection between heart and behavior. People and situations do not determine our behavior; these things provide an occasion where our behavior reveals our hearts." - Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands I've been navigating through my anger, confronting myself in the mirror. What does this anger unveil about my own heart? Surely, they aren't as enraged with me. In fact, they probably don't spare me a second thought. If anything, they—as sincerely as they can muster—bemoan my status as an apostate. So pitiful. My fruit is anger. And too often, I'm tempted to point fingers elsewhere as the source of my...
Post a Comment
You Know You Want to Know More....>>

Should I Stay or Should I Go

At the time, deciding to leave felt like the most agonizing part of the whole ordeal. In hindsight, a few years of prayer journals were filled with distressing agony over desiring direction and reconciliation.  So much turmoil and emotional pain all the time. But we were constantly told that was to be expected. Hard was good. Hard truths. And iron sharpening iron. But in reality, We were all enduring death by a thousand paper-cuts. In reality, it was spiritual abuse.  In July of 2022, I sat in a lawn chair in California. It felt like a million miles from home.  We had been traveling the US, and hadn’t been home in weeks. I sat there, eating my bowl of chili.  As wonderful as the trip has been, I started to miss home. In my reflections. I counted my blessings. Home was good. Except one thing, I had a sense of dread when I thought about church. My chest would go tight. And my body felt shaky. I craved Jesus. I craved worship. I craved devotion. Being in God’s creation,...
Post a Comment
You Know You Want to Know More....>>

If Your Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands....

Alright y'all, I need to post an actual blog post.  It's been awhile.I guess I have said " writers block".  Everytime I've sat down to blog, I've gotten this nasty attitude, like I just want to rant and complain.  I'm not a fan of giving a bad mood more than it deserves or letting people get on my nerves enough that it bleeds in my blog in the most passive-aggressive way possible.  So I won't go there this time.  Focusing on what I'm thankful for has been such a great practice, and has helped me avoid the above.  So here goes nothing.....I'll update a little bit on everthing I suppose.... Finally, life is beginning to slow down.I am so appreciative of the fact that the moving/settling in process is over ( only to do it all again in T minus 5 months....) In theory, there should be a big hole where our next house will be soon. For some reason I doubt that they will break ground this week, but I would be happy if they did...I'm stressed and ...
Post a Comment
You Know You Want to Know More....>>