You ever find yourself in a situation, and you are not sure who to blame?
This evening, I found myself in that exact situation. There I was, standing in line to check out at our local Wal-Mart. I ran in quickly to pick up two things: enchilada sauce and chocolate syrup. I had Haley in tote. I typically avoid Wal-Mart at rush hour, but I wanted to save myself a trip the next day. So there I was. Haley was on leash and was doing amazing. She was proudly sporting the leash and made it through the store without issue.
AND then we made it to the checkout line. I picked a shortish line, but the wrong line because both the cashier and the person checking out were taking forever. And then I was faced with a full blown meltdown.
The checkout area is like the running the gauntlet. On one side you have candy and snack, none of which are desirably healthy nor mom improved. The other side is full of cheap worthless toys that are way overpriced. So, keep in mind, my kid is eye level with all of this and she goes into full meltdown mode. Trying to grab things, throwing herself on the floor.
It was an all out war between her and I.
The person behind me was staring me down as I fight to manage my toddler. Because at this point, that is all I can do. I continue to tell her no to the items she picks up as she throws epic size fits. In my inexperience in parenting, the only one thing I do know for a fact is NOT to give in. No way. No how. Was my child going to walk out of the store with any of the check out line items. Because what would that teach?
It was embarrassing. And possibly the longest 5 minutes of my parenthood. The person behind me glared at me repetitively. Haley did not recover well. She threw herself to the floor several times as we were leaving which just added to the leash embarrassment.
When I set Haley in the car, I gave her a harsh talking to (low voice but very firm) and she immediately started crying (different from the fit throwing, like actual tears and being upset) the most heartbreaking cry I had ever seen. She somewhat got it.
BUT she is two. Expecting her to have THAT much self control in a checkout lane is not practical. So I can't really be ALL that mad at her. Even as an adult, I sometime find myself wanting to grab that snickers bar or the cool pretty flashlight with led lights.
I left, finding myself resenting Wal-Mart for the manipulation. Because that is what is it. I know there are a number of parents who would have bought their child the 4-dollar-piece-of-crap toy just to keep their kid from screaming. But I choose screaming. I was not going to give into that for Wal-Mart and I wasn't going to reinforce that behavior in my child by rewarding it with a toy. So while yes, it is not good behavior for my child to melt-down in the checkout lane...BUT how much self control can you REALLY expect at that age? I don't know, maybe I am in denial of some seriously bad parenting on my part.
Maybe I suck at parenting. I see other toddlers nicely holding their mother's hand in the check out line. Maybe I am the one to blame. But I don't know what to do. I stay firm with rules. I have expectations. But she pushes back. Hard. All. The. Time. I still stay firm. And it is often exhausting. But I do not give in. And that I am proud of.
So I don't know who to blame. My parenting. Haley's behavior. Or Wal-Mart. Perhaps it is all three. BUT I am at a loss. It is much easier when the kid in contained in a cart. But when your waiting 5 minutes in line and the stupid toys are on the bottom two shelves RIGHT at eye level. What am I to expect from a two year old. Toys are not off limits at home. Or at Y care. Or at grandma's. SO how is a toddler to understand that SUDDENLY your not allow to play with toys when they are right there (in cheap crappy packaging--which is why I didn't just let her play until it was time to check out because she would have tore everything out of packages in 3.2 seconds).
I am frustrated. I need a drink. Of water.
This evening, I found myself in that exact situation. There I was, standing in line to check out at our local Wal-Mart. I ran in quickly to pick up two things: enchilada sauce and chocolate syrup. I had Haley in tote. I typically avoid Wal-Mart at rush hour, but I wanted to save myself a trip the next day. So there I was. Haley was on leash and was doing amazing. She was proudly sporting the leash and made it through the store without issue.
AND then we made it to the checkout line. I picked a shortish line, but the wrong line because both the cashier and the person checking out were taking forever. And then I was faced with a full blown meltdown.
The checkout area is like the running the gauntlet. On one side you have candy and snack, none of which are desirably healthy nor mom improved. The other side is full of cheap worthless toys that are way overpriced. So, keep in mind, my kid is eye level with all of this and she goes into full meltdown mode. Trying to grab things, throwing herself on the floor.
It was an all out war between her and I.
The person behind me was staring me down as I fight to manage my toddler. Because at this point, that is all I can do. I continue to tell her no to the items she picks up as she throws epic size fits. In my inexperience in parenting, the only one thing I do know for a fact is NOT to give in. No way. No how. Was my child going to walk out of the store with any of the check out line items. Because what would that teach?
It was embarrassing. And possibly the longest 5 minutes of my parenthood. The person behind me glared at me repetitively. Haley did not recover well. She threw herself to the floor several times as we were leaving which just added to the leash embarrassment.
When I set Haley in the car, I gave her a harsh talking to (low voice but very firm) and she immediately started crying (different from the fit throwing, like actual tears and being upset) the most heartbreaking cry I had ever seen. She somewhat got it.
BUT she is two. Expecting her to have THAT much self control in a checkout lane is not practical. So I can't really be ALL that mad at her. Even as an adult, I sometime find myself wanting to grab that snickers bar or the cool pretty flashlight with led lights.
I left, finding myself resenting Wal-Mart for the manipulation. Because that is what is it. I know there are a number of parents who would have bought their child the 4-dollar-piece-of-crap toy just to keep their kid from screaming. But I choose screaming. I was not going to give into that for Wal-Mart and I wasn't going to reinforce that behavior in my child by rewarding it with a toy. So while yes, it is not good behavior for my child to melt-down in the checkout lane...BUT how much self control can you REALLY expect at that age? I don't know, maybe I am in denial of some seriously bad parenting on my part.
Maybe I suck at parenting. I see other toddlers nicely holding their mother's hand in the check out line. Maybe I am the one to blame. But I don't know what to do. I stay firm with rules. I have expectations. But she pushes back. Hard. All. The. Time. I still stay firm. And it is often exhausting. But I do not give in. And that I am proud of.
So I don't know who to blame. My parenting. Haley's behavior. Or Wal-Mart. Perhaps it is all three. BUT I am at a loss. It is much easier when the kid in contained in a cart. But when your waiting 5 minutes in line and the stupid toys are on the bottom two shelves RIGHT at eye level. What am I to expect from a two year old. Toys are not off limits at home. Or at Y care. Or at grandma's. SO how is a toddler to understand that SUDDENLY your not allow to play with toys when they are right there (in cheap crappy packaging--which is why I didn't just let her play until it was time to check out because she would have tore everything out of packages in 3.2 seconds).
I am frustrated. I need a drink. Of water.
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