We live in a world, where we rarely sit back and enjoy the hand that was dealt to us. Or well, the hand we created for ourselves. There wouldn't be much point in free-will if our lives were only made up by the decisions of the dealer and a stacked deck.
I'm guilty of this. I find myself thinking, wow--this is great, but wouldn't it be better if....
The last few months, the end of that sentence has been..."Ian worked days instead of afternoons."
This is selfish in it self, because for a year--I spent night after night going to bed in tears--alone, tired of his working the midnight and extra shifts. To be fair, I was warned. Multiple times, by multiple people that life as a wife of an officer would not be easy. The stress. The loneliness. The way the job can change a man. I thought I was prepared to deal with it all at the ripe ol' age of 20. Truth be told, I wasn't.
So the fact that I would even dare complain about his working afternoons is absolutely... infantile of me. I am lucky beyond imagine. But that thought just kept creeping in. I wanted more.
Well, I wanted more--and I got it. For a whole week. I thought it would be bitter-sweet. A week of bliss, then back to the old, inferior, schedule. Such a tease. A preview of just how perfect and blissful life could be.
It took me until Tuesday to realize how much I am looking forward to his going back to afternoons. Yeah it was great to have the evenings together like a "traditional" family. But I realized, we had way less time together with him working days compared to afternoons. Plus, he was only getting to see Haley for maybe 2 hours a day before she was in bed by 8. It was tough.
Granted, there will be a day that our lives change and days will be obviously paramount. But for now, afternoons are absolutely perfect for us.
Sometimes it takes having something we don't want, to realize what we have, is exactly what we wanted all along. So just a reminder out there. Appreciate what you got--because while the grass may look greener on the other side--it rarely is.
I'm guilty of this. I find myself thinking, wow--this is great, but wouldn't it be better if....
The last few months, the end of that sentence has been..."Ian worked days instead of afternoons."
This is selfish in it self, because for a year--I spent night after night going to bed in tears--alone, tired of his working the midnight and extra shifts. To be fair, I was warned. Multiple times, by multiple people that life as a wife of an officer would not be easy. The stress. The loneliness. The way the job can change a man. I thought I was prepared to deal with it all at the ripe ol' age of 20. Truth be told, I wasn't.
So the fact that I would even dare complain about his working afternoons is absolutely... infantile of me. I am lucky beyond imagine. But that thought just kept creeping in. I wanted more.
Well, I wanted more--and I got it. For a whole week. I thought it would be bitter-sweet. A week of bliss, then back to the old, inferior, schedule. Such a tease. A preview of just how perfect and blissful life could be.
It took me until Tuesday to realize how much I am looking forward to his going back to afternoons. Yeah it was great to have the evenings together like a "traditional" family. But I realized, we had way less time together with him working days compared to afternoons. Plus, he was only getting to see Haley for maybe 2 hours a day before she was in bed by 8. It was tough.
Granted, there will be a day that our lives change and days will be obviously paramount. But for now, afternoons are absolutely perfect for us.
Sometimes it takes having something we don't want, to realize what we have, is exactly what we wanted all along. So just a reminder out there. Appreciate what you got--because while the grass may look greener on the other side--it rarely is.
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